Why are We Afraid of Failures?

" Many of life's failures are people who did not realise how close they were to success when they gave up."- Thomas Edison

          Every now and then, we hear of people saying, " I'm tired of this world.", "I'm such a failure." "I don't want to move on anymore."..... so on and so forth. 

          How then do we gauge our life? Is life merely a matter of collecting successes (and never failures) along the way? Or is it the other way around?

          At times, what makes us think that we are a failure is the standard that we put on ourselves and that of others. As Thomas Edison said beforehand, many among us fail when we are supposed to be at the verge of success. 

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          Actually there are varieties of meaning to failure yet the very common one among them is the reality that no one among us wants to experience that hurt and pain as a consequence of failure. Our willingness to step one foot forward is hold back by the many "ifs" that we have in ourselves. Consciously or unconsciously, we are telling our mind of certain negativity such as "what if I fail?...what others will tell me if I will not attain that grade?....if I will fall down, would I be able to get up and continue the fight?....

          Thus, for us to be able to embrace this thing called failure, we need to convince both our minds and our hearts that it is still alright if we stumble and fail. We need to believe that we are more than the failures that we have in life. After all, and whether we agree or not, life is but a race and only those who are fit and have the will to move forward can finish the race.   

                                                     

Patience is a Virtue

          Sometime last month, I accompanied my wife for her follow up check concerning her coming thyroid surgery. During that day, we waited for four hours before being accommodated. Though we were waiting for such a long time but I made use of my time by coming up with this blog post regarding patience. 

          When our appointment number was displayed, we were ushered to room number 24, back to the reception area and then room 4. While inside the room, she had her physical exams like getting her blood pressure then the doctor also tried to feel her thyroid nodes like those in the neck both left and right sides. Afterwards, the attending physician showed to us the result of her last  blood test and he was telling us that the thyroid seems to be stabilising. 

photo credit: Just when you thought it was over God paints this picture via photopin (license)

          When she was done with all her check up, we went back to the reception area for booking on her next doctor's appointment and proceeded to the ground floor to have her CT scan schedule. All in all, our visit to the hospital made me realise that at times, we tend to become anxious of what lies ahead of us. This is exactly as a consequence of us not knowing what will happen next in our life. 

          On the other hand, I also realise that being patient with life and with everything allows us to gain peace within. While some could become agitated, impatient or disturbed while waiting for their turn in such a hospital setting, what could then be beneficial is by being present to that moment as well as to make use of the time on whatever available resources in store for us to become productive.  

                                    

T.G.I.F......What's in a Friday?

          It's Friday once again. It may not sound true to you but it is just a personal observation that when it is Friday, the atmosphere around and everywhere is that of excitement and thrill. I know that it is probably a matter of mindset but for many people, Fridays means time for break from work, time to spend with loved ones, opportunity to relax after spending much time in offices, shops, workplaces etc.

          From a woman's point of view (my wife), it sounds though much similar to mine like Fridays and weekends are days to spend for bonding, relaxing, having time together for activities that could build further the relationship as husband and wife, as friends, as ordinary people.

          In my workplace, when Friday comes, people are so excited in coming to work and in ending their respective responsibilities also. This is contrasting to what Monday brings to people. Mondays are the opposite meaning some people seems to be still floating in the air having the after effect of the weekend's activities. Others are feeling sluggish coming into work. 

          Anyway, whatever our motivations for Fridays, may it always be for the betterment of our being and that of our relationships with others. To spend quality time with people dear to us is highly priceless. So come..... let us spend this day and the coming weekend in a way that both we and our loved ones will share alongside each other moments of togetherness and oneness. After all, life is meaningful when it is shared with others. 

                                          

Why Some People Take Advantage of Others?

           Just recently, I have read in the news how a huge amount of money from people was lost as a result of a scam. And as far as I could remember, this is not the single case which I heard of involving the same controversy and sad reality. In fact, this very miserable experience is happening not just in one country but I believe that this is also true even to countries such as USA, Australia, UK and the like.

          Examples of these scams could be online shopping and auctions, dating scams, computer virus/malware/spyware, rental fraud etc.   

          Therefore, this is happening everywhere and it is sad to note that many of these victims are innocent ones. While it is true that others fall as victims since they want instant big cash but it is very unnerving for some to undergo a terrible experience. 

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         On the part of these scammers, one of the reasons they are able to go through into such trap for others is the greediness that lies inside their hearts. And what makes it very sickening is the truth that those people who become victims have families of their own, have children to feed, to send into school, to cloth and to provide other provisions.

          If only these swindlers  realise the effect and consequence they are giving to their victims, then they should be able to feel the pain itself being in such a situation. There is really no use for people to take advantage on any way on others, rather we might as well lend a hand to others and be instruments of growth for them. 

                                    

New Day Ushers Us Into A New Way

           Glancing at the chance of each new day, opportunities for growth ushers us along the way. As each new day unfolds, we welcome it with excitement and joy for we know that this new day will bring us into more understanding and learnings about ourselves.

          Why then self discovery is very crucial? It plays a vital role for it enables us to perform positively in our various forms of relationship. Along the way, we come in contact with people whom some could give us a threat in which we have no control. Have you experienced a situation wherein you seems to feel uncomfortable or uneasy with somebody whom you just meet recently or even worse, a total stranger to you?

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          And as you reflect on the experience, you then discover that this person represents somebody in the past who extended and caused you discomfort as well as pain (transference). Good for you if you come into this kind of realisation and bad if you re not capable to do it.  The process then of owning such experience takes a long while. That is why, we need to know deeply each of ourselves so that we will also understand our own dynamics as well as that of others. 

                             

Learn to Overcome Negativity

          Ever since I grew up as a child, little it be known that each day brought us all two possibilities- either good news or bad news. yin or yang, light and shadow. Moments that I cherished the most were those filled with laughters and other pleasant memories while we also tend to delegate somewhere else those not so pleasant ones. You and me, we all have that tendency to cherish the good and reject the bad. However, as I mentioned earlier, life in itself is made up of these two realities- the good and the bad.

          On the other hand, we have various approaches to pain. Others may tend to welcome them and grow positively from them. Some will tend to be overly affected by them that at the end of the day, they seem to have lost their energy to walk "one more mile". Moreover, there are also those who are more inclined to put the blame on others of their miseries. Such trivialities or not as losing one's pen, forgetting one's notebook at home, mindlessly leaving the car key inside when stepping out of it and locking everything etc., they also result to losing their focus and energy to welcome the new day. 

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          Meanwhile, there are also approaches which could enable us to get up from those tumbled moments:

1. Be open- let it be and let it go. Though by nature, this is not an easy thing to do for we have the tendency to internalise either knowingly or unknowingly every painful event in life. However, in order for us to overcome such pain, we need to go down into ourselves and learn to accept it then let it go. Never let the painful experience lingers more in our mind since if we do so, it will surely affect the rest of our activities and may possibly block our desire to nurture relationships with others;

2.  Be alert- in every event in our life, there is no sense to spend so much time on it for it will lead us to nowhere. Instead, step back and learn to evaluate the event then check what went wrong. Start from there then the next step that you will take will surely lead you to the right one.

3. Ask for help- pride is one thing that can make us down. On the other hand, humility also can be our way to grow and become better persons. It's not really bad to ask for other's assistance and comfort during our trial moments. Rather, we somehow acknowledge our own limitation and at the same time, we tap other people's resources to help us move on. 

4. Finally, learn to pray- whoever is your personal god and whatever name you attribute to this divine being, learn to constantly submit everything to Him and ask for graces so as to grow more in His way. 

                                       

Possibilities Abound

          One time while at work, I was listening to the music and at a certain moment, the DJ greeted all his listeners of the day then wished everyone a great new day. While listening to him, I was struck by what he once mentioned that in each of our days, many possibilities are bound to happen. And I moved on with the rest of my day responsibilities, I once in a while thought of it and realised that indeed, what he said is true. 

         Everyday exactly is full of surprises for all of us. And even though no one among us knows exactly what will happen during the course of the day yet it is always beneficial for us to stay positive on things. Learn to say good bye to those bad energies in the past. Allowing oneself to move on is difficult especially if the pain inflicted by another party is deep penetrating. However, if we convince ourselves that we can move on from this pain and rather stay on what is positive out of the experience then most probably we will learn to step forward.

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          In short, let us not allow any distraction to block our way to self development. On the other hand, let us enjoy all the possibilities brought by a new day such as enjoying the company of our family, relatives, friends and others. Sharing time with good and special people in our life nurture our day. Let us also open up ourselves to other possibilities at work like fulfilling all our tasks of the day, or receiving a salary increase from our boss, or helping a workmate at his job, so on and so forth.

          Hence, every new day brings opportunities for growth not just for ourselves but also for others whom we come into contact any time of the day.